20 truths about men - how they really tick

A lot of women ask themselves: what really goes on in a man's mind? Of course, not all men are the same. Still, there are some recurring patterns that are hidden in almost every man. The renowned Viennese couple therapist Dominik Borde tells you the top 20 truths about men: how they tick, how they feel and what they really want.

ContentTruth #1: Men want to be loved just the way they are Truth #2: Men want women they can respect Truth #3: Men are vulnerable Truth #4: Men speak up rarely about their feelings Truth #5: Men like what's different about you Truth #6: Men look for quick fixes Truth #7: Men love challenges Truth #8: Men need approval Truth #9: Men get hurt when you play with them Truth #10: Men like to give compliments Truth #11: Men act insecure when they like a woman Truth #12: Men don't care about your ex Truth #13: Men don't know what makes women tick Truth #14: Men think alone Truth #15: Men need clear signs Truth #16: Men need male role models Truth #17: Men love their mothers Truth #18: Men find you nice if you think you're beautiful Truth no. 19: Men hate negative relationship talk Truth no. 20: Men want to make their wives happy About Dominik Borde

Truth no. 1: Men want to be loved just the way they are

Many women tend to want to change or re-educate their man. True to the motto "What doesn't fit is simply made to fit". Sometimes they succeed and suddenly they don't want him anymore because he doesn't seem to have leadership skills, opinions of his own, or a solid character. Or they don't succeed and the man feels like he's not good enough for them.

It's a good idea not to tell a man what to do and what not to do, in a haughty manner. If he puts up with it, there is a risk that you will lose respect for him. If he doesn't put up with it and you still try to change him, there is a good chance that he will eventually leave you.

Truth #2: Men want women they can respect

A man must be able to respect the woman by his side. Even if some women may think differently here: A woman who accepts everything is simple and comfortable, but not a woman that a man likes.

Truth #3: Men are Vulnerable

It's almost certain that every man has been hurt at some point in his life and has developed a conscious or unconscious fear of it happening again. As a result, many actually no longer really want to get involved with a woman and are often afraid of committing themselves. Patience is required here. It usually takes a little time to make a man feel like he can let go and trust you.

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Truth #4: Men rarely talk about their feelings

Men usually find it difficult to talk about their feelings, their hurts and fears because they are in the grew up believing that as a man you have to know and be able to do everything. Emotions are considered socially unattractive by many men.

Truth #5: Men like what's different about you

Just about anything that distinguishes a woman from a man, such as clothing, accessories, hair, is attractive to men . Women who dress masculine and behave like a mate usually find men unexciting and unattractive.

Truth #6: Men seek quick fixes

Bring a man a problem and he'll try to solve it his own way as quickly as possible. Men often reduce complexity and overlook essentials. Women, on the other hand, tend to look at things from multiple angles, which usually leads to an increase in complexity. Men rarely understand that women sometimes like to talk about a problem without necessarily having to solve it. Men feel good when they can support a woman with their advice.

Truth #7: Men love a challenge

A man wants to conquer you and feel that you are a challenge for him. The following applies: What we achieve too quickly or too easily means less to us. Flirt with a man, but give yourself plenty of time to commit to him.

Truth #8: Men need approval

For many men, approval from other people is even more important than love. This strong desire for approval can be traced back to our ancestors. For them, this was important to ensure their own survival within the group.

Truth #9: Men get hurt when you play with them

Men don't go for it if you make other men think they might end up with you. What may be a game for you to test how attractive you are or whether you are superior to another woman represents a betrayal of trust for him or is sometimes even perceived as an attack on his position.

Truth No. 10: Men like to give compliments

"You have such beautiful eyes", "Your hair is amazing" - men like to compliment women, but rarely follow in Goethe's footsteps. For many women, male compliments seem rather superficial and shallow. When a man tells you he finds you attractive, accept the compliment and believe him. On the other hand, if you criticize his compliments, he will stop giving you them.

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Truth #11: Men act insecure when they like a woman

Even though they rarely admit it, most men are when being with a woman they're into is a lot more insecure than you can imagine. It is therefore extremely important for a man to be recognized. It is embedded in a man's subconscious that his own genes could be erased if he is rejected.

Truth #12: Men Don't Care About Your Ex

A man never wants to know what his ex did better or differently. He simply accepts them as a necessary evil or as a learning experience. If he gets along with your ex because, for example, you have a child with him or a friendship has resulted from it, then really only because you are important to him. Real friendship will probably never come of it.

Truth #13: Men don't know what makes women tick

Most men don't have the faintest idea what goes on in a woman's mind and don't know what makes them tick. For men, things must be simple and understandable, if they are too complicated, he turns to new tasks. It is very difficult for men to understand that everything does not have to lead to a goal or a specific result.

Truth No. 14: Men think alone

Men usually think about things alone and want to solve their problems on their own. They need to feel in control of their lives independently of others. Give your husband ideas, but don't be upset or hurt if he takes your advice in a roundabout way or seems to value other people's opinions more than yours. Men want to show their wives that they can also master their tasks on their own, otherwise it is of less value to them.

Truth #15: Men need clear signs

As already mentioned: Men want clarity! It's the same with flirting. Many men are afraid to approach a strange woman if they don't get a clear signal. The problem: what is a signal for women does not have to be a signal for men. There are completely different views and perceptions here.

Truth #16: Men need male role models

What men see in their father or saw in their childhood and adolescence shapes their entire lives. Men like to orientate themselves on other men and imitate their behavior. Women, on the other hand, can learn behaviors from both sexes. This is precisely why it is important that young men in particular have a male role model.

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Truth #17: Men love their mothers

Whether consciously or unconsciously - every man loves his mother, no matter what he says. Whether boy or girl - both love their parents, even when it is obvious that they are not good for them. Therefore: Better never insult his mother. If at all, only he himself is allowed to do that.

Truth #18: Men find you beautiful when you find yourself beautiful

A man who likes you will find you beautiful and attractive as long as you find yourself attractive too. In the long run, men lose interest in a woman who is dissatisfied with herself and her body and who does not find herself sexy. Many women would be surprised if they knew what men are really into.

Truth #19: Men Hate Negative Relationship Talk

Men like to avoid talking to a woman about relationship problems. This is partly because they relate their partner's dissatisfaction to their lack of skills. They then get the feeling that they cannot make the woman by their side happy.

Truth #20: Men want to make their wives happy

There is almost nothing that fulfills a man more than being able to make his wife happy. It doesn't matter what men do with you, whether they go to the cinema, go jogging, go to a musical or choose a restaurant: If you're not happy about it, he feels responsible for it. A dissatisfied, bad-tempered girlfriend quickly brings men to the brink of despair. In return, men close themselves off or become absorbed in other areas that are easier for them to manage, such as work, hobbies, friends - or they look for a woman who can make them happy.

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About Dominik Borde

Dominik Borde is one of the leading coaches for singles and couples and is the founder of the company Sozialdynamik. In addition to his work as a trainer and coach, he is the author of several specialist books and numerous articles on the subject of relationship building. Since 2013, Dominik Borde has been a live studio guest on the ORF every Tuesday in the show "Heute Mittag", where he answers questions about topics such as jealousy, partnership and conflict resolution. Dominik Borde is available to his clients personally in his practice in Vienna, but also by phone or Skype.

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